This is my third, and hopefully my final, time attempting to write this post. Damn, that's dramatic.

No keyword optimisation here my friends, just an old fashioned catch up about where the hell I've been these past few months. We're halfway through 2019 and this is the wildest, and best, year of my life yet.

My life's done a complete 180 since 2018, and all for the better. New flat, new job, new boyfriend, new friends, new habits, new experiences, basically a whole new life. Obviously all these changes take a toll, which has meant blogging hasn't been my number one priority, but I soon learned that's okay. The world isn't going to end if I don't write a post or share something on Instagram, but saying that, I've missed having this kind of creative outlet.

Liverpool blogger stands in front of brightly coloured striped wall, wearing denim boiler suit and converse, holding a bouquet of flowers and smiling

boilersuit Nasty Gal (affiliate link) - hair clips New Moon - converse (affiliate link) - flowers Mary Mary Florals

In January, I moved out of my parents' house (again) and into my lovely little studio in the middle of town (that's Liverpool, in case you're new here). I still love it as much as I did that first night. Less than two weeks after the big move, I started my new job, where I made friends instantly, and I genuinely can't imagine life without. Also, because I was pretty bored in that limbo period, I downloaded tinder again.

This led to a whole new Allie phase, which sounds pretentious but me and my friends have officially titled it, and I tried new things. I went on dates, lots of them, and met a boy. He fucked me around a lot and I eventually moved on but that sad boi taught me a lot, so thank you, genuinely. I hope you work things out and eventually get that fucking tattoo you always put off getting.

It was during this phase that my friends, some I'd known a few years, some a few months, really showed me what friendship is. One example of many, is Craig, who introduced me to his friends, one I'd met before, as I was crying in the Kaz toilets over the aforementioned sad boi. One friend in particular was cute af, and after some back and forth on Instagram, the next thing you know we're in the Raz at 5am - yes, Liverpool has a Kaz and a Raz, both very different - and our first date was two days later. We haven't looked back since.

girl stands in front of coloured striped wall, smelling bouquet of flowers

New boy, and a new bff. Well, a bunch of them. I'm not sure if I should be writing this, and it will most definitely end up in a group chat at some point, but it's my blog and it's my safe space. I won't go into detail, but yes, this year also included a massive friendship break up. I can't say it was sudden, but it did sometimes come as a bit of a shock. It often felt like my right arm was gone, but I've learned to live without it, and eventually I realised I'm better off now. It can be easy to think if someone is in your life for 10+ years they're there forever, but that's not always the case, and that's okay. I won't dismiss that decade's worth of memories, but I'm ready to make some new ones, and not lower my self worth in the process.

Newsflash, it turns out putting yourself first isn't selfish after all. I didn't believe this up until a few months ago, when my mum gave me some great advice I actually followed through with. "Be selfish for once. Go off the rails a bit." I did. It was boss, and it taught me not to take everything so seriously. I've learned there's a difference between being selfish and having self worth, and self care most definitely isn't selfish. To be perfectly honest, it's about time I found some bloody self worth. For far too long I've put up with far too much, but now I know that I am worthy of good friends, a good job and best of all, the sweetest boy in the world. Life is so good right now, and I'm grateful every moment of every day, and I'm still learning, too. I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, but a new and improved version. Granted, I'm still trying to claw back some of my creativity, hence the hiatus, but I'm not putting any pressure on myself. I'm thriving.

Good vibes guys ✌🏼